I started seeing a therapist. I don't know what good it will do, but I can't just go around crying all the time. It's not really constant, but the littlest things will bring on a bout that seems to last forever. I need to learn how to cope.
Like the other day in Michaels, they have the new 2009/2010 calendars out. First thing I always do when I pick up a new calendar is flip through and look for my birthday. Next thing I do is flip through and look for Lori's birthday. Her 2009 birthday is only a few months away and we already have plans for that, but as I started to flip to 2010, I couldn't even turn the pages. I just started having all these horrible thoughts. My eyes got all blurry and I just had to go out to the car and have a good cry.
So, the first "therapy" session was really just getting to know each other. Her name is Alice. I think I'm going to like her. She also has late hours and Saturday hours so it doesn't interrupt my work schedule. And when I called her office to make the appointment, she answered the phone herself!
I visit with her again this week, so we'll see how things go and if she has any suggestions for me to help keep things under control.
Cat
2 comments:
Good idea, Cat. If she is good, you will be very happy you used her. I saw one for a few sessions over 10 years ago when I was having anxiety/panic attacks. Therapy helped me understand why I was causing them, and a way to diffuse them. No longer a problem.
Hang in there Cat - and I agree, it is a good idea to go to someone you can really open up with and discuss your feelings. It sounds like Lori has a great deal of strength and dignity in how she is dealing with this, but she also needs (and luckily has) you to be there with her.
My thoughts are with you and your family. My wife's favorite younger brother just passed away from a similar debilitating illness, so I think I can understand some of what you are going through you... Tom1
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