I was in one of those moods today where I was depressed and angry (at I don't know what, or everything, or nothing). I happened to be in the kitchen at the time, and I got to a point where I just sunk to the floor and sobbed. Well, by the time I had enough of a handle on myself to look around, I realized that there was a LOT of built-up dirt/grease in my kitchen that a cat may see on a regular basis, but I sure don't see it when I'm standing around in there.
In my despair, I grabbed a rag from under the sink and started attacking one of the more offending spots. Although I was still angry and sobbing, one thing led to another and before I knew it, I was 'attacking' parts of my kitchen that hadn't been seen by a rag in a long, long time. It was some kind of a weird release. I felt like I was hurting something, but I could see the dirt just dissapearing as I worked, almost as if I were washing my anger and sadness away.
I can't say that I felt "better" in any real sense of the word, but by the time I couldn't find anything else to attack in the immediate area, I was spent and tired. I didn't have enough energy left to feel like hurting myself or anyone else. I just went upstairs and laid down, albeit still feeling sorry for myself, but I eventually did fall asleep.
I know that I haven't found some miracle cure for depression, but at least I have found a safer outlet for the ways that I feel sometimes. It's certainly better than some of the other crazy thoughts that I could have come up with. Maybe I'll try it again sometime when I'm feeling like crap. One little bit at a time, depending on my moods, and my house just may become the cleanest house in America. Now THAT would be a miracle.
Cat
Saturday, August 14, 2010
Sunday, August 08, 2010
My political views?
I don't normally take online quizzes, but this one at www.okcupid.com/politics had me curious. I didn't have to sign up for the site or even give them any information such as my name or email address to take it. According to the (very short) quiz, I am a:
Social Liberal (63% permissive)
Economic Liberal (28% permissive)
Democrat
"You exhibit a very well-developed sense of Right and Wrong and believe in economic fairness"
Hmmmmmm...
Cat
Social Liberal (63% permissive)
Economic Liberal (28% permissive)
Democrat
"You exhibit a very well-developed sense of Right and Wrong and believe in economic fairness"
Hmmmmmm...
Cat
Saturday, August 07, 2010
I've been putting off writing this post, because every time I start it I just can't finish. But I just wanted any of you who still might read this blog to know that I lost my best friend, my mom, on July 26, 2010 at 2:10 pm.
She had been ill and in the hospital for almost two months, in hospice for the last two weeks. Hospice was kind, and they did not let her suffer. She made her own decision to go to hospice rather than continue suffering. She was a brave woman.
My heart still breaks every time I think about it, and the shock comes again. It is even very hard to write this post.
I love you mom. I will always remember the good times we had together and the way you taught me to live my life. Rest in peace.
Cat
She had been ill and in the hospital for almost two months, in hospice for the last two weeks. Hospice was kind, and they did not let her suffer. She made her own decision to go to hospice rather than continue suffering. She was a brave woman.
My heart still breaks every time I think about it, and the shock comes again. It is even very hard to write this post.
I love you mom. I will always remember the good times we had together and the way you taught me to live my life. Rest in peace.
Cat
Thursday, July 01, 2010
My July 1st day
This is the story of my horrible, no good, very bad day.
I got a call early in the morning from this guy who wanted to buy some of my Dancing Cactus stuff that is still sitting around and he had to have it today, so I had to unpack everything and take pictures of the things I thought he might like and email them to him. My camera "broke" halfway through the photo session, but after a short temper tantrum, it magically fixed itself and I continued taking pics. They're a pain because you have to get the lighting just right or the product doesn't look good. I send him the email with pics and talk with him again so that I know exactly what types of things he's looking for.
Then I drive 45 minutes (with no AC in the car) to my stepsister's house to pick up some Dancing Cactus stuff she has stored for me, so I sort through all the stuff with her husband, take what I need and go to leave (Meanwhile, the customer-guy keeps calling me to see when he can come over because he really needs the stuff today and he lives pretty far away) and guess what? My car battery is dead. I get the car going and of course I have to drive it straight to Sears Automotive because I can't turn the car off or else it won't start again. They say it'll take an hour. OK, I'll wait. The one-hour job hasn't even been started yet after I've already been patiently sitting there for an hour, so I have to call the customer-guy and ask him if he can pick me up at Sears and take me home so we can do our transaction. He says OK (he must have thought I was such a flake) and I give him the directions, and right after that my cellphone battery dies. *sigh* The customer-guy gets to Sears and we go to my house and yippee! he buys $150 worth of stuff.
He brings me back to Sears and Tara comes along for the ride so that I can drive her to work, because surely by now they've had plenty of time to install a battery. But my car is still not ready, so Tara has to walk to work from Sears (about a half mile, but it's 90 degrees out there) and in addition she is very late for work after all this. Meantime my back is killing me from all the stooping and squatting and crawling around and driving, and I can barely walk. So I take a pain pill, but it didn't help much because I took it when I was already in too much pain.
Three hours after bringing my car in simply to change a battery Sears finally tells me it's ready (there goes $41 of the $150 that I made) and then they don't have change when I give them three twenties so the cashier has to go get change. I think he went to Iceland because he never comes back and the other cashier at the register just gives me one of my twenties back, very pleased to tell me that he is saving me a whole dollar. But what about the three hours of time you stole from me?
All I want to do is go home and lay in bed for awhile, but I stop at CVS to get a can of iced tea with that dollar I saved, and the lady in front of me is having a 20 minute fit with the cashier and the manager because her freakin' toilet paper is TOO THIN! Then don't buy the one-ply store brand, idiot. The lady behind me was laughing hysterically. I didn't find it quite that funny. I just wanted to pay for my tea and go home. Be alone for a few hours. In my bed.
I finally get home, and when I open up AOL the top news on the page says "Sagittarius, July is going to be a rocky month for you". Oh, yeah, ya think?!?!??? And today is only July 1st, I really can't wait to see what the rest of the month holds for me. Not that I really believe in horoscopes or anything, but it was just ironic.
I left a few things out (I mean, how much more rambling/ranting can I do?), but that was basically how my day went. How was YOUR day?
Cat
PS....and now I'm having trouble publishing this post. For some reason, when I look at it on the blog, the letters are teeny tiny. So, I set the font size to "large". Now I have two different size fonts in one post, even though all of it is set to the same size. I'm not messing with it anymore, that's the way it'll stay. I hope that I didn't make it look wierd on your computer. Oh, well, I'm going to sleep now. G'nite!
I got a call early in the morning from this guy who wanted to buy some of my Dancing Cactus stuff that is still sitting around and he had to have it today, so I had to unpack everything and take pictures of the things I thought he might like and email them to him. My camera "broke" halfway through the photo session, but after a short temper tantrum, it magically fixed itself and I continued taking pics. They're a pain because you have to get the lighting just right or the product doesn't look good. I send him the email with pics and talk with him again so that I know exactly what types of things he's looking for.
Then I drive 45 minutes (with no AC in the car) to my stepsister's house to pick up some Dancing Cactus stuff she has stored for me, so I sort through all the stuff with her husband, take what I need and go to leave (Meanwhile, the customer-guy keeps calling me to see when he can come over because he really needs the stuff today and he lives pretty far away) and guess what? My car battery is dead. I get the car going and of course I have to drive it straight to Sears Automotive because I can't turn the car off or else it won't start again. They say it'll take an hour. OK, I'll wait. The one-hour job hasn't even been started yet after I've already been patiently sitting there for an hour, so I have to call the customer-guy and ask him if he can pick me up at Sears and take me home so we can do our transaction. He says OK (he must have thought I was such a flake) and I give him the directions, and right after that my cellphone battery dies. *sigh* The customer-guy gets to Sears and we go to my house and yippee! he buys $150 worth of stuff.
He brings me back to Sears and Tara comes along for the ride so that I can drive her to work, because surely by now they've had plenty of time to install a battery. But my car is still not ready, so Tara has to walk to work from Sears (about a half mile, but it's 90 degrees out there) and in addition she is very late for work after all this. Meantime my back is killing me from all the stooping and squatting and crawling around and driving, and I can barely walk. So I take a pain pill, but it didn't help much because I took it when I was already in too much pain.
Three hours after bringing my car in simply to change a battery Sears finally tells me it's ready (there goes $41 of the $150 that I made) and then they don't have change when I give them three twenties so the cashier has to go get change. I think he went to Iceland because he never comes back and the other cashier at the register just gives me one of my twenties back, very pleased to tell me that he is saving me a whole dollar. But what about the three hours of time you stole from me?
All I want to do is go home and lay in bed for awhile, but I stop at CVS to get a can of iced tea with that dollar I saved, and the lady in front of me is having a 20 minute fit with the cashier and the manager because her freakin' toilet paper is TOO THIN! Then don't buy the one-ply store brand, idiot. The lady behind me was laughing hysterically. I didn't find it quite that funny. I just wanted to pay for my tea and go home. Be alone for a few hours. In my bed.
I finally get home, and when I open up AOL the top news on the page says "Sagittarius, July is going to be a rocky month for you". Oh, yeah, ya think?!?!??? And today is only July 1st, I really can't wait to see what the rest of the month holds for me. Not that I really believe in horoscopes or anything, but it was just ironic.
I left a few things out (I mean, how much more rambling/ranting can I do?), but that was basically how my day went. How was YOUR day?
Cat
PS....and now I'm having trouble publishing this post. For some reason, when I look at it on the blog, the letters are teeny tiny. So, I set the font size to "large". Now I have two different size fonts in one post, even though all of it is set to the same size. I'm not messing with it anymore, that's the way it'll stay. I hope that I didn't make it look wierd on your computer. Oh, well, I'm going to sleep now. G'nite!
Thursday, April 29, 2010
Tal.ki
This is pretty interesting. You can add a forum, called Tal.ki (cute!) into your blog post (or any web page) in seconds. And it's free. I'm not sure how it would really be different than commenting on a blog, but the developers are working on a way to integrate a forum into your Facebook page. Now, that would really be something interesting! Check it out, HERE.
Cat
Cat
Tuesday, April 06, 2010
Pre-Employment Drug Testing
What do you think about pre-employment drug testing? Now that I'm looking for a job, it's become an issue. I don't do anything illegal, but I have a valid prescription that I can't take in case I have to go for a drug test.
Do you think it's an invasion of privacy? Does your prospective employer have a right to know all of your medical conditions and make a hiring decision based on that? Since Florida is a "right to work" state (I never understood the phrasing of that), an employer can make a hiring or firing decision based on anything, even the color of your hair. What if they are afraid their insurance rates will go up, so won't hire me due to my illness?
Besides, every kid doing illegal drugs knows how to scam the tests. I have heard of everything from cleansing kits to fake urine (!) that these kids buy before they take a test. So what good do the tests do anyway?
Cat
Do you think it's an invasion of privacy? Does your prospective employer have a right to know all of your medical conditions and make a hiring decision based on that? Since Florida is a "right to work" state (I never understood the phrasing of that), an employer can make a hiring or firing decision based on anything, even the color of your hair. What if they are afraid their insurance rates will go up, so won't hire me due to my illness?
Besides, every kid doing illegal drugs knows how to scam the tests. I have heard of everything from cleansing kits to fake urine (!) that these kids buy before they take a test. So what good do the tests do anyway?
Cat
Thursday, February 11, 2010
I thought I figured it out
I had to go to the HTML for my blog page set-up and hope that I deleted only the right HTML to get rid of the ads without ruining the rest of my blog. I did it wrong, and it made my profile disappear. I am not a happy camper. I WILL get this figured out though.
I think I did it! Do not ever click the monetize tab on your blog. I just wanted to see what it meant. Now I know, and I will never do that again.
Cat
I think I did it! Do not ever click the monetize tab on your blog. I just wanted to see what it meant. Now I know, and I will never do that again.
Cat
Sorry guys!
I somehow clicked on the wrong thing and now I have ads showing on my blog. But I can't for the life of me find out what to click to get them off of here. So, please be patient with me while I work and try to figure out how to get these stupid ads off. Sorry again. I am sooooo pissed!
Cat
Cat
Tuesday, February 09, 2010
Didn't even know I was famous
I do quite a bit of beading in my free time. It relaxes me, I love to play with the beads, and I end up with lots of jewelry.
Sometimes, after I work up a pattern, I'll send a picture to the designer just in case they want to see how it came out. I don't always do everything exactly as they recommend in the pattern, so I feel they might want to see how my version turned out. This is what I did after I worked up City Lights, a bracelet by a designer named Juanita, who does business under the name Jaycee Patterns.
I was just wandering around the net the other day and I went to her blog to see some of her new designs, and what do you know? There was my bracelet! Even has my name on it. If you want to see it, you can click here... http://jayceepatterns.blogspot.com/2009_10_01_archive.html Her entry was posted a while ago, but what can I say, it takes me a while to catch up. ;)
If you like jewelry or beads, you should look around at the rest of her blog. She makes some really nice designs.
Cat
Sometimes, after I work up a pattern, I'll send a picture to the designer just in case they want to see how it came out. I don't always do everything exactly as they recommend in the pattern, so I feel they might want to see how my version turned out. This is what I did after I worked up City Lights, a bracelet by a designer named Juanita, who does business under the name Jaycee Patterns.
I was just wandering around the net the other day and I went to her blog to see some of her new designs, and what do you know? There was my bracelet! Even has my name on it. If you want to see it, you can click here... http://jayceepatterns.blogspot.com/2009_10_01_archive.html Her entry was posted a while ago, but what can I say, it takes me a while to catch up. ;)
If you like jewelry or beads, you should look around at the rest of her blog. She makes some really nice designs.
Cat
Monday, January 25, 2010
Health Care
Health care reform is on everybody's mind now that we are so close to actually having some kind of reform passed. But does anyone actually understand what the provisions are in the two bills (House and Senate), and how they will affect each of us? I found a website that compares the two bills side by side, and is actually written in plain english language that most of us can understand. The site is the Kaiser Family Foundation and has lots of other information on health care reform as well. If you would like to read the page with the side by side comparison, here is the link to it. http://www.kff.org/healthreform/sidebyside.cfm
It seems that the provisions in the bills are really not that far apart at all, so I can't understand why our elected representatives can't agree on something and get health care reform passed.
I just spent three months with no health insurance at all. It turned out to be due to an administrative error, so luckily my Cobra was reinstated, but I learned a lot during those three months. For one thing, no middle class American can afford health care. A regular doctor visit with the family care physician who I have been seeing for over 20 years costs $120. He certainly doesn't receive that amount when he gets paid by Cobra (doctors only receive a "maximum allowable amount"), so why can't he just charge me that amount instead of bankrupting me? I don't even want to know what one of my specialists charges.
And forget about prescriptions. Just one of my prescriptions cost me $101.42, and I take eight prescriptions, so add it up. Needless to say, I haven't been taking any of my prescriptions.
Buying health insurance is not so easy either. Even though I had a certificate of creditable coverage (something which certifies that you have had continuous health care), I wasn't eligible to buy any insurance because of my pre-existing conditions. So what good is the dang certificate?
I sure hope a health care reform bill is passed before my Cobra runs out. I hope so for me and for anyone else out there who doesn't have health insurance.
Cat
It seems that the provisions in the bills are really not that far apart at all, so I can't understand why our elected representatives can't agree on something and get health care reform passed.
I just spent three months with no health insurance at all. It turned out to be due to an administrative error, so luckily my Cobra was reinstated, but I learned a lot during those three months. For one thing, no middle class American can afford health care. A regular doctor visit with the family care physician who I have been seeing for over 20 years costs $120. He certainly doesn't receive that amount when he gets paid by Cobra (doctors only receive a "maximum allowable amount"), so why can't he just charge me that amount instead of bankrupting me? I don't even want to know what one of my specialists charges.
And forget about prescriptions. Just one of my prescriptions cost me $101.42, and I take eight prescriptions, so add it up. Needless to say, I haven't been taking any of my prescriptions.
Buying health insurance is not so easy either. Even though I had a certificate of creditable coverage (something which certifies that you have had continuous health care), I wasn't eligible to buy any insurance because of my pre-existing conditions. So what good is the dang certificate?
I sure hope a health care reform bill is passed before my Cobra runs out. I hope so for me and for anyone else out there who doesn't have health insurance.
Cat
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